Day 5: Highs, Lows, and Curling Toes

Today was another interesting one. I went back to work for the first time since I left hurriedly on Monday afternoon, but I was not productive. It was good to see my co-workers and talk to people about non-stroke-related issues, though. My tear ducts activated twice, but only in my office while talking about how cool my Dad is. I can talk about AVMs, strokes, heart rates, etc., but when I get started talking (or even typing) about the kind of Dad and husband and "poppy" my Dad is, the "sprinklers" turn on. He is THAT cool.

Before I ruin my keyboard, I will start talking specifics of what happened today...

This morning was rough. After another night of very little, if any, increased movement, Mom watched as Dad's heart rate shot up to the mid-170s. That is way too high for someone who has been laying on his back for several days, and it has been hovering in the 80-110 b.p.m. range. Dad's chest was heaving in and out, and it looked like he was having heart or lung issues. Fearing that he may have had a blood clot or something, Mom (with the help of a visiting Doctor-friend) checked the clot-preventing wraps on Dad's legs to see if they were turned on to squeeze and stimulate the muscles. They weren't. Someone had turned them off during the night and forgot to turn them back on. They quickly fixed that, but Dad has been having about a minute of increased heart rate (170ish) every hour or so. They are going to do some blood work and an electrocardiogram tonight to see if Dad has any unusual heart issues.

One of the neurosurgeons did some reflex tests on Dad today, including one that involves drawing with a pen on the soles of Dad's feet. I may have described it before, but they have been waiting for Dad's toes to curl, and they finally reacted to the stimulation! This raised everyone's spirits for a couple of hours, until we were informed that it wasn't just toe movement they were looking for. They look for the big toe to curl downward, and, if the toe curls upward (toward the top of the foot), that indicates probably brain malfunction. Dad's toes curled upward, so our excitement quickly subsided when we learned the meaning of his reaction. It doesn't mean that any brain malfunction is irreversible, it just means that there is some trauma to the brain, but we already knew that!

He was examined late tonight by another neurosurgeon. This guy seems to be the youngest of the bunch; he seems very bright and eager to help Dad recover. He manipulated Dad's arms, checked for pupil dilation (still very slow and slight), and pushed on Dad's toe nails. The tests seemed to cause Dad discomfort and he moved slightly in response to the tests, which is a good thing. The doctor actually apologized to Dad when he saw that his tests caused Dad discomfort or pain. I enjoy seeing the nurses and doctors talk to Dad by name. It makes me think they see him as a healing person and not just a mostly unresponsive, human experiment. The doctor also raised his voice at Dad, trying to see if Dad could open his eyes or move his fingers, but Dad did not respond.

The doctor kindly reminded us that we would hopefully see more responsiveness from Dad in the next couple of days. After that, if they don't see progress, they will do another CAT scan to check for strokes that may have occurred since surgery. He pointed out that we should be encouraged that Dad, to this point, has not had any real complications (additional bleeding on the brain, secondary infections, fevers, etc.) from the AVM blow-out and subsequent surgeries. Dad isn't healing as quickly as we would like, of course, but he isn't getting worse either.

Tomorrow will involve a lot more sitting around, watching Dad breathe, scanning the computers in hopes that his numbers remain stable, and reminding ourselves that this process is (hopefully) still in its infancy.

A few lessons I took from today include the following:

1) God isn't on our timeline. And His timeline is better than ours, because He knows the end from the beginning.

2) As Dad's creator and sustainer, God loves Dad more than any of us ever could. We can rest in this knowledge.

3) Prayer is very difficult to comprehend sometimes. Obviously, we are praying fervently that God heals Dad completely. God can do that. But we are also praying for strength and peace as we go through this trial, regardless of the outcome. God will definitely do that as we lean on Him, and many of you have been used (knowingly or unknowingly) by God to encourage us and we truly thank you for that.

4) Excitement when Dad progresses slightly is good and natural, but we must remember Proverb 27:1, which says, "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." Conversely, we have to be patient and full of faith when bad news inevitably comes. An emotional roller-coaster is only fun at the top of the hill.

Please remember to pray for Bethany's Cesarean tomorrow at 9:00. We want Dad to have another healthy grandbaby. Please pray for Mom as she deals wisely with all of the highs and lows of this process. Also, we are thanking God that 1) Grace will be able to come home for a few weeks (starting next Friday) before redeploying back to Antarctica, 2) Richie's mom will be able to come to help with Luke and Zeke as the new arrival comes, and 3) Dad is still with us!

I'll close today with a picture of Dad's "grandbabies"... before the addition of one more in the morning.